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Common Sense Is Not So Common




"Common sense" is a term often thrown around as if it were an innate ability that everyone possesses. Yet, time and time again, we encounter situations where it becomes painfully clear that common sense isn’t as common as one might hope. This idea is especially apparent in how people interact socially, sometimes displaying a surprising lack of maturity or empathy. A few examples can illustrate this gap perfectly: imagine someone celebrating their convocation, and the only response from a bystander is, "What course did you study?" Or picture a person proudly driving a new (even if modest) car, only to hear, "Finally, you bought a jalopy." 

These types of comments, seemingly offhand but somewhat dismissive, reveal a lack of sensitivity and awareness. So, why does this happen? And how can we cultivate the maturity that seems to be missing in such situations?

Why "Common Sense" Isn't So Common

Despite its name, common sense doesn’t develop equally in all people, nor is it just about age. For many, common sense is shaped by experience, observation, and empathy, traits that don’t automatically come with age. While younger people may need time to develop these traits, even older adults sometimes lack the maturity expected of them. 

Common sense often demands that people think before they speak, assess the context, and consider the impact of their words on others. When someone fails to do this, it can be a sign that their emotional intelligence or social awareness may be underdeveloped. For instance, instead of understanding the pride or excitement of a recent graduate, they focus on trivial details, reducing a milestone moment to an inquiry about a course. 

Examples of Common-Sense Gaps in Social Interactions

Here are a few common scenarios that highlight the gap between “common sense” and real-world behavior:

1. Questioning Instead of Celebrating: Someone’s graduation is a moment for congratulations, not a quiz. Asking what course they studied, rather than simply offering an enthusiastic "Congratulations!", misses the mark entirely. It’s a time for support, not scrutiny.

2. Judging Others' Achievements: Similarly, seeing someone proudly driving their car, regardless of its make or model, is a time to celebrate with them, not make sarcastic comments like, "Finally, you bought a jalopy." Such comments suggest a disregard for the achievement itself, focusing on perceived status rather than the effort and pride that the other person may feel.

3. Assuming Maturity Equals Age: While experience can lead to wisdom, age alone doesn't guarantee maturity. Some people have lived many years but may still lack the emotional growth that allows them to interact with kindness and thoughtfulness. 

Cultivating Maturity and Emotional Awareness

If common sense isn’t truly common, what can we do to foster it? Here are a few principles that can help anyone be more mature and thoughtful in their interactions:

1. Listen More, Judge Less: Before making an offhand comment, take a moment to appreciate what the other person might be feeling. Listening with empathy and reacting with kindness can make a world of difference.

2. Practice Gratitude and Positivity: When someone shares good news or a new achievement, try to match their excitement. Simply saying, "That’s amazing congratulations!" goes a long way and is more meaningful than probing or critiquing.

3. Consider the Impact of Words: Words are powerful and can either uplift or hurt. Pausing before you speak can help you choose words that show support and respect.

4. Don’t Equate Age with Maturity: Understand that emotional maturity comes from reflection and a willingness to grow, not merely from the passage of time. Embrace the idea that maturity is an ongoing journey for everyone.

Final Thoughts

Common sense and maturity are qualities everyone can work to improve. They aren’t guaranteed by age or experience alone but rather by practicing empathy, patience, and kindness. As we become more mindful of our words and actions, we cultivate a culture where common sense and decency truly become “common” in every interaction. The world could use a little more of that—don’t you think?

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