Stop Letting People Use You

How to tell if someone is using you:

1- Recognize their pattern. A person who comes to you from time to time to ask for a favor isn’t necessarily a user. They could just see you as someone reliable or trustworthy.

A user on the other hand follows a specific pattern. They never check up on you and are only ever nice to you when they need something. It’s a one-sided relationship. 

2- Express yourself. Let them know how they make you feel. Tell them you don’t appreciate their presence only when they need something. They could also not realize they’re making you feel that way if that’s not their intention. 

3- Boundaries. Set clear boundaries with them. Learn to say no. If you can’t say no, politely let them know that you have other things going on or you’ll think about it.

4- Test them. Reverse the roles and ask them for huge favors. And see how they’ll respond to your needs.

5- They are only nice to you and only contact you when they need something or want to ask for a favor. They take more than they give from you. No reciprocity. When you need them, you know they won't be there for you

6- Be selective. Having a big heart and caring for others doesn’t mean you should give your hand to everyone. Remember that it’s not your job to make everyone happy or comfortable. Some people will drain the life out of you. Be careful. 
7- They manipulate you with guilt. When you can't do them a favor, they'll punish you or make you feel bad for saying no. When they can't get something from you, they disappear.
They don't care as much about you as you do about them.

8- Remove them from your life. If you’ve done all of the above and the pattern is still repetitive, the best thing to do is just keep your distance from them. 

Know the difference between those who are present to feed the soil and those who only come to grab the fruit.

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