Stop Letting People Use You

-

How to tell if someone is using you:

1- Recognize their pattern. A person who comes to you from time to time to ask for a favor isn’t necessarily a user. They could just see you as someone reliable or trustworthy.

A user on the other hand follows a specific pattern. They never check up on you and are only ever nice to you when they need something. It’s a one-sided relationship.
2- Express yourself. Let them know how they make you feel. Tell them you don’t appreciate their presence only when they need something. They could also not realize they’re making you feel that way if that’s not their intention.
3- Boundaries. Set clear boundaries with them. Learn to say no. If you can’t say no, politely let them know that you have other things going on or you’ll think about it.
4- Test them. Reverse the roles and ask them for huge favors. And see how they’ll respond to your needs.

5- They are only nice to you and only contact you when they need something or want to ask for a favor. They take more than they give from you. No reciprocity. When you need them, you know they won't be there for you
6- Be selective. Having a big heart and caring for others doesn’t mean you should give your hand to everyone. Remember that it’s not your job to make everyone happy or comfortable. Some people will drain the life out of you. Be careful.
7- They manipulate you with guilt. When you can't do them a favor, they'll punish you or make you feel bad for saying no. When they can't get something from you, they disappear.
They don't care as much about you as you do about them.
8- Remove them from your life. If you’ve done all of the above and the pattern is still repetitive, the best thing to do is just keep your distance from them.
Know the difference between those who are present to feed the soil and those who only come to grab the fruit.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Painful Reality of Life: When the Rain Stops, the Umbrella Becomes a Burden

-
Image
Life often teaches us some of its harshest lessons through the simplest of metaphors. Consider the umbrella, a faithful companion during a storm. It shelters us, keeps us dry, and provides comfort against the elements. But once the rain ceases, that very umbrella, so crucial moments ago, becomes a cumbersome burden. This transition captures a painful truth about loyalty and human relationships: when the benefits cease, so too does the loyalty. In our lives, many people flock to us not for who we are but for the value we bring and the benefits they can derive from us. They thrive on the opportunities, support, and advantages we offer. As long as we are useful, as long as we can provide shelter from life's storms, we are cherished and needed. But when the rain stops—when the benefits diminish—these same people often disappear, leaving us to ponder the true nature of our connections. This realization can be incredibly disheartening. We yearn for genuine relationships, for loyalty that...
Read more

Who’s Worth the Pain

-
Image
  The truth is everybody is going to hurt you at some point. No matter how much love, loyalty, or effort you give, people are human, and humans make mistakes. They’ll disappoint you, misunderstand you, and sometimes even break your heart. Your best friend might forget to show up when you need them most. A partner you trusted might say something that cuts deep. A family member might not understand your dreams, and their words might sting more than they realize. But that’s not the point of life or love. The real question is: who is worth suffering for? Because some people come into your life and leave behind scars, while others leave behind lessons. Some take from you and walk away, leaving you emptier than before. But a few, a precious few will stay. Even after the arguments, the distance, and the silence… they’ll come back. They’ll own their flaws. They’ll apologize, not because they have to, but because they care enough to try again. They’ll remind you that love isn’t perfe...
Read more

Welcome to Nigeria, Where Opinions Come with Expiry Dates

-
Image
As I was reading the comments about Tuface Idibia and Natasha, I honestly had to pause and ask myself: What exactly is wrong with people on this social media space? The hypocrisy is so loud it should have its own BVN. 😂 All of a sudden, Annie Idibia don turns angel Gabriel’s PA. The same Nigerians that dragged her like faulty Keke brake are now pretending she’s the standard for sainthood. Abeg, Nigerians will confuse even Google Maps. Nigeria is a comedy club disguised as a nation. One minute they are moral judges, the next minute they are motivational speakers, then by evening they are FBI agents with fake evidence. Nobody switches character faster than a Nigerian on social media. 😂 But let me talk to the men in the back: Please, protect your peace like your life depends on it because it actually does. If you break down, these same people will type “Omo, eyaaa. Stay strong bro 🙏🏽” while drinking cold malt and dragging someone else. 😂 Don’t let anyone stress you especially...
Read more